Tuesday, 30 August 2011
Being broken to be re-built
I was explaining pregnancy to a lovely late 20's lady this weekend, which, after a few glasses of champers turned into a long regaling horror story much to her wide-eyed terror.
I concluded that motherhood, and adjusting to it, is like military training. You are completely and utterly broken in every way - physically, mentally, emotionally, hormonally, sleeplessly - and from there you can rebuild in your new life as a mum.
My pregnancy was Hard. Core. Twin pregnancies aren't a walk in the park and mine certainly wasn't in a liver-starting-to-fail, on crutches, vomiting for 5 months type way. Followed by bladder and womb infection, spine spasm, C section recovery, no sleep, oh, and screaming Post Natal Depression.
I pulled through. I am a better person for it.
My breakdown - I rebuilt, and in many ways I am still rebuilding. I am better for it.
Endo - it breaks me daily to a certain degree and weekly to another .I am better for it. I will emerge from my chrysalis a butterfly.
I cried today, and got angry - but the tears lasted a lot less than they used too, and depression kicked in later than it used to. I am getting stronger.