Monday, 18 July 2011

Things that change when you have kids and why they don't matter


As you all know, I am the proud mumma to my Mini Divas, Eva and Mia.

Before I had the girls, in a previous life as a working, earning chick in London, my life could not be more different to how it is now. I was out most nights seeing friends, going to galleries, doing stuff. I would get cabin fever staying home for more than a night or two and I was rubbish at relaxing (as seen here).

Having kids means spontaneity is gone, pretty much.

When I hear that friends have "just popped to the cinema" or "out for dinner" it now seems alien, as the organisational skills needed to sort a night out often render it futile.

I am lucky that my work brings me to London most weeks, so now the Mini D's are a tad older and the insanely exhausted Post Natal Depression days are over, I have a slice of "me" again; doing this enables me to catch up with friends, culture, the buzz of the city, and to reconnect with myself before returning home to the sticks  where I welcome the greenery, fresh air and lack of shooting by the corner shop with open arms ( hey, I lived in Hackney).

So, for anyone reading who doesn't yet have kids or are surrounded by mates that do, here is an insight to the lives of parents in my list of "Things That Change When You Have Kids and Why they Dont Matter:

1. You have less energy. running around after little ones, running a house and working is tiring, before you add in other things like trying to exercise, maybe speaking to your partner occasionally. This is ok because you don't go out much (see 2, and bed is the best invention ever).

2. You rarely go out: the usual popping to the pub habit now requires someone to come and babysit, an arrangement to be made in advance and for your energy to be such that going out is attractive.  This is ok because you are knackered anyway (see 1.)

3. You don't have much money; small people cost money, and having kids and working means wages take a hit because you are either working part-time and/or childcare costs money. This is ok - see 1 and 2.

4. Personal space becomes a highly priced commodity. Be it going to the loo on your own or being able to eat by yourself without getting indigestion from being screamed at by a Mini Diva, peace and quiet becomes a much coveted ideal. This is why you don't want to go out much ( see 2), but its ok because of 3 and 1.

5. You forget whats "trendy" , become a stereotypical parent and feel old. This is ok because you don't go out much to embarrass yourself ( see 1, 2, 3, and 4).

6.  You don't go out shopping much. See 5 and 3, which are both ok because of 2.

7. You don't drink as much. See 3, 2, and 1, especially 1 as having a hangover + kids is not a great way to start the day. See, it;s ok!

Finally, you have the most amazing reward ever, which is happy, gorgeous children to share life with. This makes all the above ok.

I love you, Mini Divas :)




  1. I love how you write. ;-)

    I don't have kids myself but I have moved back to my Mum's and she had two more kiddies so I am around the little ones all the time and I take care of them quite often. It's funny how your view of the world changes somewhat when the little ones are about. They are exhausting at times, but they bring me such joy. No night out on the town is going to quite match that.

  2. Thanks Elizabeth! I know, life does change but its all for the better! xx

  3. Ahh, so sweet! The tiredness is one thing I worry about when (hopefully not in near future) I ever have kids. I'm tried most of the time anyway; don't know how I'd ever cope getting woken up at the crack of dawn by kids and spending the whole day running around after them! I admire you and all the other strong mummies out there greatly x

  4. Ha, that was always the thing that worried is hard, but COFFEE is always the answer! xx