Thursday 25 August 2011

Asking for help; a learning curve

Asking for help

 
One of the hardest lessons I have been learning over the last few years is that asking for help is ok.

In fact, it's not only ok, it's often necessary, a relief to the person being asked, and down right easier all round.

Take this morning for example. I wake up, can tell by the level of pain and nature of it that I will struggle today, and I have the Mini Divas until 1pm. Realising this, I tell my amazingly flexible, calm and understanding man and between us we sort out a plan b with our support team. Within 10 minutes a plan is in place, I can cuddle my girls on the sofa before clambering back to bed relieved.

A while ago it would have been a different story. Adamant to cope I would have ignored the pain, let Miles go to work without knowing how bad it was, get increasingly stressed and painful throughout the day until finally reduced to tears I would ring him, feeling wretched, useless and incompetent.

Owning up to needing help is ok. I have needed help since the bubs were born in one way or another; when post natal depression had a grip support was invaluable, and with endo present in our lives and having small people to look after help is crucial to our coping mechanism.

I still grimace slightly at the notion of not doing it all myself; I like to think of myself as strong, independent and self sorting. All this is true, but we all need help from time to time, especially when little ones are in the mix.

Admitting you need people is ok. It's so much better than them having to watch you struggle and self implode.

I am incredibly lucky to have so much support. But I bet you do too. If you look. ;)

DD

x

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